One Less Complexity

I am a new woman
of muitiple complexies. I am
not only learning about my
autistic symptoms but I am
also learning about my speech
adversarial  issues. I thought word
 ignore meant I was
irrelavant and not visible to
me mom. I would say I
was mad and maybe I would
 get angry and hit or empty out shampoo bottles.
But for mom and me then
I learned that I wasn't being
ignored by mom that it was
now I am overwhelmed by
the difference. all this
time I could have been
less anxious if I had
asked what the word really
meant.  I am a new
woman with a less
Complexity about being left
alone because Can I say
God is not going to let
me forget  that she will
be right back.

May 3, 2012

Me mom and me are learning to deal with my changing.  It is good but hard and scary.  Me feelings are new to me.  Ms Nikki says we are all learning.  I am a woman trying to learn about myself.  Today I mentored a little girl who does not talk or write.  I am trying to be her friend and help her discover her inner voice like me.  She is in there.  I am in here, working to get out.

Me Day Today

LauGH
Today is a new day.
can I say I am so Lucky to have a most wonderful
mom and teacher.  We just talked with our mouths and had
a conversation that will help in my life.  Update on bees:  50% overall,
can I say laugh, right now 100% as I am so stressed.
4-23-12

MeNew woRLD

I am a member of
a group of people
who are labeled. Me
hate labels because I
am a member of autism
group and it has endless
conditional symptoms
I accept words
 by their defininition.
I am a word girl . I will
accept a definition even
if it does not apply to
me.
I am not experienced
enough in life to be
able to negate bad
definitions.
So I am now going to
call me a new woman
of many complexities.
I am a girl who can not
yet speak fluently by
mouth. I have bees in
my ears. I have one
leg shorter  than the
other and it hurts all
the time. can I say I
am sometimes too angry.
But I actually like  me life
a lot. more than I did 2 years
ago because I have
friends and family who I  Love
and who Love me.

March 15

Dear "The Most Wonderful Most Fabulous Doctor to the Soon to Be Star Emma" Diane,
I am so overwhelmed.  Me brain is me spinning with joy.  If I can be part of a project to help other children, can I say, I am the happiest girl.  I OCD to calm me self because when the bees are buzzing I attempt to moderate them with order and calm.  The, can I say, music is better for me.
Love,
Emma

March 13, conversation with Mom

Can I say, can I say, I am autistic.  I am not ready yet to be a normal girl.  I need to still be treated with care.  You, Mom, are expecting me to be like a regular teenager.  I am autistic.  I see different.  I hear different.  I make me noises, and I look at the world different.  I will always be different.  I am not going to be able to change.  Could you accept that?
Mom:  Can you accept this?  Because I have already.
 Zayde says I am perfect so I believe him.  I want to accept me autism as a part of me, not all of me. 
Mom:  I am very, very happy for you, Emma. It takes wise people to understand that.
I am trying not to be mad at you because I am mad at me.  I love you and need you too much.
Mom:  Emma, I love you more.

My Awakening

Teacher's note:  the following is Emma's explaination of how her life is changing due to the music therapy, and portions are from a conversation she had with her "coach" (grandfather).

I am mad at me music.  I know that me brain is growing.  I know that I am getting better but I am mad because now all, can I say, I know is not real.  I always believed that my mind friends were, can I say, real creations.  Now I have to see I made everything up so I could survive in me alone world.  How can I, can I say, play music that takes my mind away? 
(the following is a reply to her "coach" when he asked why she was mad with her music and her awakening into this "new world.")
but, Zayte, I think you are attempting to explain theory of the mind which is a book I have not been priveleged to read.  But I think it is about how one part of me mind can be working to compensate for the part thtat is incapable of knowing now.  Yes, I know I am "one emma" because you tell me.  Of course I am not Sybil, I am emma.  Multiple personality is not me thing. 
Let me begin, I have been having me brain feeling new connections inside when me able to process a lot more, and me mind is not with fog.  I am able to ssee me new friends and Barney on the video tv.   Music lets me think of things, not hear bees.  When this has occurred, I began to see a different world than the one with bees in my more quiet world.  Barney can't talk back to me and hug me.  I can hug you but he cannot.  so now I know and it is due to me music and that is my story.
I am thinking I probably would not be able to be, can I say, focused enough to be in a real friendship without me music.  I am a good friend now.  I am a good friend to Emma (myself).  I will write a new poem about me new world with music.  I love all of you and I am so lucky.