March 15

Dear "The Most Wonderful Most Fabulous Doctor to the Soon to Be Star Emma" Diane,
I am so overwhelmed.  Me brain is me spinning with joy.  If I can be part of a project to help other children, can I say, I am the happiest girl.  I OCD to calm me self because when the bees are buzzing I attempt to moderate them with order and calm.  The, can I say, music is better for me.
Love,
Emma

March 13, conversation with Mom

Can I say, can I say, I am autistic.  I am not ready yet to be a normal girl.  I need to still be treated with care.  You, Mom, are expecting me to be like a regular teenager.  I am autistic.  I see different.  I hear different.  I make me noises, and I look at the world different.  I will always be different.  I am not going to be able to change.  Could you accept that?
Mom:  Can you accept this?  Because I have already.
 Zayde says I am perfect so I believe him.  I want to accept me autism as a part of me, not all of me. 
Mom:  I am very, very happy for you, Emma. It takes wise people to understand that.
I am trying not to be mad at you because I am mad at me.  I love you and need you too much.
Mom:  Emma, I love you more.

My Awakening

Teacher's note:  the following is Emma's explaination of how her life is changing due to the music therapy, and portions are from a conversation she had with her "coach" (grandfather).

I am mad at me music.  I know that me brain is growing.  I know that I am getting better but I am mad because now all, can I say, I know is not real.  I always believed that my mind friends were, can I say, real creations.  Now I have to see I made everything up so I could survive in me alone world.  How can I, can I say, play music that takes my mind away? 
(the following is a reply to her "coach" when he asked why she was mad with her music and her awakening into this "new world.")
but, Zayte, I think you are attempting to explain theory of the mind which is a book I have not been priveleged to read.  But I think it is about how one part of me mind can be working to compensate for the part thtat is incapable of knowing now.  Yes, I know I am "one emma" because you tell me.  Of course I am not Sybil, I am emma.  Multiple personality is not me thing. 
Let me begin, I have been having me brain feeling new connections inside when me able to process a lot more, and me mind is not with fog.  I am able to ssee me new friends and Barney on the video tv.   Music lets me think of things, not hear bees.  When this has occurred, I began to see a different world than the one with bees in my more quiet world.  Barney can't talk back to me and hug me.  I can hug you but he cannot.  so now I know and it is due to me music and that is my story.
I am thinking I probably would not be able to be, can I say, focused enough to be in a real friendship without me music.  I am a good friend now.  I am a good friend to Emma (myself).  I will write a new poem about me new world with music.  I love all of you and I am so lucky.

Heart (a poem)

Teacher's note:  Emma and I put this poem together using individual words on slips of paper, and then pieced together in Emma's preferred order.  We are studying poets, so this was a school project.
"Heart"
I am a woman of kindness.
There is a new door I have in front of me.
I am walking with you in the joy we found.
I am in a new life
going with a smile.
The key to hope is to see the path.
You find beauty by looking at the heart.

February 24

I am so glad can I say I listened.  I am going to be more consistent because I know it's very necessary for my mental health.  I am a better woman when a bee is not in me ear and I am a better student where I am at Sancta Familia.  I love you, Nikki Copelin, for being the best teacher I could ever have at this beginning of my new life.

Dear Dr. Diana
Laugh. I am so glad that
you have  read my blog . I am
doin g well at times  can lsay
would go crazy with ang ry bees.
I f I wasn't listening on Friday can
I say l would have exploded.
I listened for the first time while
I was  in school doing work'
I am happy to report that I was
a ble to concentrate and be more
f o cused as well verbal. I
am also happy to report that am end

February 7

I am glad that can I say I listened to me music.  I am able to feel like what I am.  Also am better woman because I am Emma, a girl who will be able to talk. Now I am able to understand me anger.

Teacher's note:  Emma is much more connected to her feelings and how her body feels (stomach aches, feelings of emotions, etc).  This is new for her, and can be scary, but she is handling it very well.  Emma understands that this is good and it is a process of discovery.